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Thinking about... learning to be self-confident

 Often we travel.  Last evening we had dinner at a small restaurant. The waitress who seated us appeared to be the only one serving during most of the time we were there.  I took special note of her in my mental notebook.

She was probably around 45 or 50 years old and wore dark khaki pants and a uniform shirt.   She was unusually tall, medium build, had long lanky legs and arms, long straight brown hair twisted on top of her head.  There was a casual, cheerful way about her that put people at ease, yet she moved quickly and efficiently around the tables. It was easy to see she enjoyed her life, was confident, strong, mature and responsible.

The most interesting thing was that one of her eyes and part of her cheek had been disfigured either by a birth defect or severe accident when she was young, yet it appeared to have had no visible affect on her personality.  It was as though she could say to the world, "So what? This is who I am. I am going to enjoy my life! You can enjoy it with me if you like... no worries if you don't."

I thought about how she must have been as a teenage girl... awkward with her long legs and larger feet... growing taller faster than the boys around her.  How did she survive that time with such a great attitude?

How do you acquire that kind of self confidence?  How do you help your kids learn to have it?
Is it just a gift you are born with?  What causes social anxiety? How can you get rid of it?

It seems to me it has something to do with NOT being overly critical of ourselves and others.  What do you think?

p.s. The food was good. Kevin gave her an extra large tip.

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